Monday, May 4, 2009

My times are in Thy hand

My first husband, Dale, died twenty-one years ago today. When I think about it, I can still get chills over the horror of that day.

I always wonder what to do with the anniversary of my first hubby’s death? I certainly don’t want to go to the cemetery and be by myself. I don’t feel like I need to cry or be sad. I have no need to relive the shock and fear and grief. Yet, I do want to remember Dale in some kind of quiet manner. One thing that seems good is simply to be with others that knew him and loved him. We don’t need to talk about Dale. We don’t need to look at pictures of him. It is good just to be with his family.

Today, I had a wonderful day. With encouragement from hubby Bob, I took a 2 ½ hour drive to go and spend time with Dale’s dear mother. I do so love her! We just chatted about life. That was all. That was enough—but there was more! Dale’s sister, Judy and friend, Duane and Dale’s Uncle Wayne and Aunt Lurelle met us for dinner and we sat and laughed and talked and just enjoyed each other — sweet fellowship and camaraderie!

After nearly everyone else had left the restaurant, and we were preparing to leave, my son Brad called on my cell phone. Since there really was no one else in our section, I put the phone on speaker and we all enjoyed Brad. He told us a story or two about his kids. At the end of his conversation, he spoke directly to Grandma Rowell, thanking her for raising such a good man and father. He said, “We were sad that he was with us for such a short time but we are so glad that we had him for awhile.” It was quiet for a moment as I noticed tears on each face around the table. I said, “We are still here, Brad, it is just that we all have something caught in our throats.” We all chuckled and said our sweet good bys.

But there was more good to come. Just as we were arriving back at Mom/Grandma Rowell’s home, the phone rang again and this time it was son, Andy. We talked briefly about Dad and then moved on to some other topics. Grandma and Andy and I had such a fun, informative, enjoyable, happy conversation.

And that is what it is all about. Just a few moments to be with those you love is all that is necessary for a special remembrance.

And tonight as I go to bed, I thank God for Perfect Timing. The phone calls came at such good times today. But that isn’t really all that I am thinking of. I am reminding myself as I look back that I can trust God for the future. Though I never really understand, I will trust in God.

Yes, my times are in Thy hand. Psalm 31:15

I also was reminded of these
favorite verses from Isaiah 55:8-11.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”


Rebecca said...

I stand (sit, actually) in awe of God and His ways. Your post and God's Word that concludes it is part of my morning "devotion". May your sleep have been a gentle period on your yesterday and your rising begin Today with a capital T.

Mom/Barb said...

What a wonderful memento of Dale and the way you honored his memory. I believe God prompted Bob and your sons!