Wednesday, April 11, 2012

At a Loss for Words

My husband laughed when I said that I was at a loss for words. It’s true!

Lilly: Grandma, do you buy lottery tickets? How many people buy lottery tickets?
Me: No, I do not buy lottery tickets.
Lilly: My mommy and daddy don’t buy lottery tickets either.
Jackson: It sounds like you would win a lot but there is almost no chance that you would win. It would be like one in 5000.
Me: It would even be less chance than that.
Jackson: So what are the chances?
Me: Oh goodness, I don’t even know. I guess we would have to look that up. I know it is a lot. I have heard that it is more likely that you would get struck by lightning 500 times than win that big lottery.
Lilly: I don’t want to get hit by lightning.
Me: I doubt that you ever will get hit by lightning.
Me thinking: Great! Now I am going to have to deal with lightning nightmares!

Jackson: Think about how many people there are on earth. How can people even say there is this many people or that many people? How could anyone ever count them? There would be more people born before you got done and people could be at the store or something. It is impossible.
Me: You are right. I think they can only estimate the number of people but God knows how many people there are on earth.
Jackson: He knows how many hairs are on the head of everyone.
Lilly: God knows how many hairs on everyone’s arms and legs
Jackson: and beards and mustaches.
Lilly: Do women get hair on their faces?
Me: Sometimes they do when they get old like me.
Lilly: Women get hair on their faces?
Me: (being slightly untruthful) well not many but once and awhile they do get a stray hair
Lilly: I don’t want to get hair on my face
Me: No, you don’t have to worry about that.
Lilly: Do you have hairs on your face?
Me: Oh, Lilly, please do not look closely . . . I probably do.
Lilly: I don’t see any.
Me: Good!
Me thinking: Oh my goodness, I am thankful that I got waxed last week!

Lilly: Did you know that some men only have one eyebrow? Their eyebrows grow together into just one eyebrow? They have to shave that little part between their noses to make it look like two eyebrows instead of one.
Me: No. I did not know that. Thanks, Lilly.

Jackson: Some words that sound like swear words are not really swear words.
Following this we had a discussion about the word “dam” that water goes over. I am sorry that I cannot recall the whole conversation but at the time, I was chuckling inside an awful lot.
Jackson: Actually some words that are swear words don’t really sound like swear words.
Lilly: Hell is not a swear word.
Lilly: Grandma, Where do you think hell is? Do you think it is on this planet?
Me: I don’t know?
Lilly: But where do you think it is?
Me: Lilly, I just don’t know where it is?
Lilly: Well I don’t think it is on this planet.

Lilly: Do you know where I would most like to go? Well, I would take everyone I love. (Beginning with Mommy and Daddy, there was a very lengthy list.)
Lilly: Guess where I would like to go more than anyplace? Just guess.
Me: Disneyworld?
Lilly: I would go to China.
Me: Did you study about China?
Lilly: Yes. I would mostly go to Beijing because that is the only city that I can remember right now.

Lilly: Is Jessica my second cousin?
Me: Well, actually, she is your step cousin.
Lilly: Relatives are really complicated.
Me thinking: From the mouths of babes . . .
Wrong, wrong thing for me to say but the words were out before I realized it:
Jessica is not actually your cousin by blood but she is still a very special cousin and much like a first cousin.
Lilly: What does that mean, "a cousin by blood?"
Me: Well, it just means that Jessica was not born from one of my sons. Her daddy has a different mom. Uncle Kevin's mom was Grandma Dee.
Lilly: I have my Grammy’s blood in me because my Grammy had my mommy and my mommy had me.
Me: Yes, and on our side of the family, you have my blood in you because I had your daddy and you are the daughter of your daddy.
Lilly: Grandma! His blood is not even in me because he did not even have me! My mom had me.
Me thinking: I think I had better let that one go for now.

Lilly: At this place that we went in Denver, they have a mechanical bull.
Me: Have you ever tried to ride it?
Lilly: Oh yes, my record is like two or three minutes!
Jackson: My record is 6 seconds
Lilly: I wish they would use a real bull.
Me: Really? I would be afraid that a real bull would gore me with his horns.
Lilly: Well, they could cut off his horns
Me: What if a real bull kicked you?
Lilly: Well, they could cut off his legs
Jackson: And extract his teeth
Jackson: Then pretty much you would have a mechanical bull just like the one they are using.

Lilly: Grandma, are all of the girl bees in a hive princesses?
Me: Yes, I guess that is right because they all have a queen for a mother.
Lilly: And all the boy bees are princes?
Me: Yes, that makes sense
Jackson: That’s one huge royal family!

See what I mean? At a loss for words!

1 comment:

Dee said...

You did good grandma LOL